Not knowing what to say is one of the most common reasons people give for being fearful about attending a networking event.
If this resonates with you, think carefully about the events you attend when you’re starting out. A large event will give you a broader choice of people to talk to, but it can be intimidating, whereas a small event where guests are seated around a table can make it easier to start a conversation.
Irrespective of the format of the event, these tips should make it easier to start an engaging conversation.
1. Very few of us are gifted comedians or outstanding orators, so don’t dither trying to find an outstanding one-liner or a great elevator pitch. ‘Hello, I’m Emma. How are you today’ is good enough.
2. When you’re looking for someone to talk to, identify other people who are standing on their own or groups where there is an opening in the circle that you can join. If you are joining a group, ask if it’s OK for you to join and then introduce yourself when asked.
3. Don’t move straight into a sales pitch or a lengthy personal introduction. Start with an open-ended question and then take your conversational cues from there. Similarly business cards or QR codes are shared at the end of the conversation rather than the start.
4. Smile, look the other person in the eye and keep your body language relaxed and open. Try to keep your hands by your side rather than crossed in front of you or on your hips – one of my weaknesses!
5. Prepare a few questions and thoughts on the topic of the day in advance. ‘What do you hope to gain from attending today?’ or ‘Is there a specific aspect of the conference programme that interests you?’ or ‘How are you finding business in the current environment?’ If the networking opportunity forms part of a conference, read up on the topics that are being covered and prepare a few of your own thoughts. This will help to establish your credibility and give you something to discuss with the other attendees.
6. Invest as much effort in listening as you invest in talking and demonstrate to the person you’re talking to that you really are listening. You can do this by playing back points they’ve made e.g., ‘you mentioned that one of the big challenges your business is facing is recruitment, what impact is that having on you and your team?’
7. Occasionally you will meet someone who just doesn’t want to talk. Thank them for their time, move on and remember that it is very unlikely that their reaction is personal.
8. If there is someone specific you want to speak to at an event, try and contact them before the event and arrange a specific time to speak rather than stalking them around the room. Alternatively ask someone who is attending who knows that person for an introduction. Trailing someone is off-putting for them and can distract you from talking to other people who may prove to be just as valuable.
9. It’s OK to talk about personal stuff rather than sticking rigidly to work but understand your boundaries and those of others. Discussing interests outside of work is a great way to find common ground with someone but be careful when it comes to sharing anything more personal.